Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize