i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
