I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
