Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
