Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
