Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
