grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
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