Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize