So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
