dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He shit in the fireplace
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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