But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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