I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
