Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just want to make out with him forever
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
