Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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