Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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