I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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