You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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