She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
