Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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