Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
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Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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