I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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