Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
