Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
