we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
