lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
