you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
