I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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