yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
