Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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