Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
