the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
