Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize