Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
