Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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