What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
