I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I want her autograph on my taint
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
