I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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