So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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