What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
vagina is talking i cant
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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