dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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