Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
