Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
