I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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