i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
