you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm always down for nudity.
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