im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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