i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
