We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
