Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
