you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threesome in a minivan. New low
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize