OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
