I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
