Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
