yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
