so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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