Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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