You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
