If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
