Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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