If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i think i have two assholes
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
