Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
This is classic penis vs brain.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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