before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
