I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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